Religion

The best burgers come from sacred cows.

The best burgers come from sacred cows. Any tool can be used for hate, but MY purpose is just laughing at ourselves.
Christian, Islam, Jews, Other

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~ Aristotle Sabouni

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Memes/Religion/Christian • [40 items]

Jesus: Do not be overcome by Evil. Overcome evil by being good! Left/Antifa: So we should attack the racists? Jesus: Let's go over that again...

Atheists use the electron as a logo to display their devotion to science. The electron was discovered by the same Christian who founded atomic physics.

Authoritarians at the Crucifixion (Easter): he probably deserves it.

Pope: if you want these beads, I'm gonna need to see some titties!

Holier than thou: "My favorite part is where Jesus feeds the multitudes after a drug test".

Retort: "My favorite part is where Jesus feeds the multitudes by stealing a portion of everyone's income."

Things Jesus never said: Blessed are the tax collectors, for true charity doesn't come from the heart from from government confiscation.

You idiot. He said, "cast the nets!"

Here at Chik-Fil-A our pickles never touch, just like God intended.

Jesus, "I really don't care how religious you are. Just don't be a dick.

Radical Christians entered a Mosque and beheaded an IMAM! Of course they were real / all Christians, Climate Change is the real threat, and we all know Christianity is a religion of peace.

Coexist: out of gun logos.

My child, I never left you. Those places with footprints are where I carried you...

That long groove over there, is when I dragged you for a while...

Drive by baptism! Saving sinners, one puddle at a time.

Suddenly Father Schober was not sure whether he should have bought his new crucifix at Ikea.

Remember, if anyone asks, they're emotional support animals

Only God can judge me! OK, you're an asshole!

Jesus facepalm. Time to flood the earth, again!

If you don't believe in God, then you don't get to make laws restricting him.

Student: Dear God, why do you allow so much violence in schools?!
God: I'm not allowed in Schools!

God: Adam, you are to love Eve forever...
Adam: Who is that?
God: That's Keith Richards, he was here when I got here...

Remember that time I got pissed and drowned everyone? LOL. #ThrowbackThursday #GoodTimes

Q: Why use Google when Jesus has the answers?

A: I'm not going to ask Jesus where to find midget porn!

WWJD: What would Jesus do?

JWPNHGHITSITFP: Jesus would probably not have gotten himself into this situation in the first place.

Baby Jesus Bathtime: In!

Wife: What are your plans for Easter? Man: Same as Jesus... I'll disappear on Friday, return on Monday. Wife: Then I'll be Mary... show up pregnant and untouched by my husband.

Do you see that man over there Timmy? He murdered you and your family, but he repented, so he's here in paradise with us now.

Jesus: Help your neighbors and take care of the poor and helpless. Crowd: But Jesus, can't we just give our money to the Romans and let them do it? Jesus: I'm going to start from the beginning...

This is a poorly designed Jesus light-switch.

And, lo, Jesus fed the needy, but only after a public shaming on Twitter.

Jehovah's witnesses don't celebrate Halloween? I guess they don't appreciate random strangers coming to their door.

So technically, Moses is the first guy to download something from the cloud to his tablet.

Chosen people to Moses while wandering the desert: "Recalculating. Recalculating. Recalculating."

Moses, "Knock it off!"

Not a single airport or train station was blown up by Christian or Jews today.

Q: Why are Nuns head coverings judged differently than a chador/burka?

A: Because Nuns don't randomly explode.

Pence, "You should spend more time on your knees"... I knew what he meant, but still...

This kite sucks!

Sells you the idea of Heaven. Drives around in a custom armored vehicle to avoid it as long as possible.

Jesus: I'm not healing your fucking hangover. (Happy New Year!)

Jesus: This one year I got so hammered! Happy Easter!

And the angel said unto him, "Stop hitting yourself. Stop hitting yourself."... but lo, he could not. For the angel was making him hit himself with his own hands. (Gustave Doré, Jacob Wrestling with the Angel (1855))

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Memes/Religion/Islam • [43 items]

Ahmed gets the first of 72 virgins!

Alah is probably the true God... after all, the Universe Started with a Big explosion!

2 strips of bacon decreases the odds of blowing yourself up.

Abu Bakr Al Baghdadi enraged after seeing his 72 Virgins in paradise.

Bombs internally!

Can't sleep, need to count sheep... damn it, now I have an erection.

Radical Christians entered a Mosque and beheaded an IMAM! Of course they were real / all Christians, Climate Change is the real threat, and we all know Christianity is a religion of peace.

Safety Jijadist is not impressed by my infidelling!

You can't Coexist with people that want to kill you.

Coexist doesn't always work.

EEK! Climate Change!!

Hujab Barbie! Now with realistic black eye!

I identify as a firework!

Islam.

Remember, he doesn't represent all of Islam!

Islam offers: Pedophelia, Rape, Beheadings, Burning People, Female Genital Mutilation, Hostages, Honour killings, slavery, oppression, Jihad. But it's not all bad... I love the food and the scimitars.

Eeek! Climate Change?!

Burka or Trashbag? (Context: my Islamic Dad sent this from Tehran).

I don't want to sound Islamaphobic.... Stop right there my friend, you don't want to inflame the situation!

Islamaphobia: Where were you on 9/11?

Hey Feminists! Now that you have the right to vote, how about defending women and girls from Islamic sanctions child marriage, polygamy, rape, domestic abuse, sex slavery, honor killings, & subjugation?

Islamic Terrorism? I just don't see it.

Islamic wind chimes.

Islamocrats!

Sponge-bob lives in a giant pineapple... but how do you think he got that house? That's right. Jihad!

Leftist sentiments: would you like👍... to protest against👍... rape culture👍... homophobia👍... and sexism👍... in Muslim culture 👎🤮

Mahammed Lego: w/23 wives, including Aysha.

Muslim election.

Normal and Muslim sperm.

Q: Why are Nuns head coverings judged differently than a chador/burka?

A: Because Nuns don't randomly explode.

OK! You can come in, as long as you behave.

So as I understand it, I can call 911 and say, "I'm doing it for Islam", and the media will blame the gun?

Anti-gay islamic radical shoots up a gay-bar. Blame gun owners!

I just started a business selling land mines that look like prayer mats, prophets are going through the roof!

Differences between Islam and Race.

Hello Darling, you're home early.

Jesus died for you. Allah wants you to kill for him!

Some goats in Muslim countries learned to scale mountains. I wonder why?

How to get stoned without weed (in an Islamic country).

Where do suicide bombers go when they die? Everywhere!

I spent half an hour trying to talk to them, wanting to learn about their culture. Then the Bartender cut me off and told me they were patio umbrellas.

YOBO, You only blow-up once

You da bomb! No YOU do bomb! A compliment in the West, an argument in the Middle East.

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Memes/Religion/Jews • [10 items]