Food

What we eat or drink, how we eat, or who we eat, this mocks them all.

What we eat or drink, how we eat, or who we eat, this mocks them all.
Diet, Drink, Vegetarians

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~ Aristotle Sabouni

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Memes/Food/Diet • [40 items]

AOC: Ribbed Condoms don't taste like real ribs.

"... and a diet coke please.}

Beating Anorexia T-Shirt on a fat guy!

Baby: Damn Tacos...

I want to grow my own food, but I can't find bacon seeds.

You had one job: don't make my baked potato icon look like a poo emoji with sunglasses.

My friend said she wouldn't eat Beef Tongue it came from a cows mouth... so I gave her eggs.

My kids say they want a cat for Christmas. Normally I do a turkey but hey, if it'll make them happy...

When your cat watches too much Food Network.

Cauliflower taste like someone at a dozen hardboiled eggs, waited an hour, farted into the dirt, then the far lovingly for 2 months until it grew into a fart flower, harvested it on the hottest and ripest day of the year, then boiled it for 13 hours.

Sometimes the stress of being a kid would get me to chain-eat a whole pack!

If people make you sick, cook them longer. (Hannibal Lecter Wisdom)

Cooking tips: too much butter, flour, egg, sugar, baking soda, communism.

Jeffrey Dahmer: Craving 5 guys before it was a restaurant.

Does wine count as a serving of fruit?

The secret is that I only use local children (in my witches brew).

The McRib is the dead beat dad of fast food. It comes around once a year and we're all supposed to act excited.

Finding Nemo (Sushi).

Peptolupa: Taco Bell.

An Italian-America is being held down and forced to watch in horror as pineapple is added to a Pizza for the first time ~ 1914 Brooklyn, NY.

Pizza on a Pineapple.

Pooh gets stuck (needs more fiber).

Soylent Green: it's not just people... it's delicious.

Is that butter?
No, it's Stonehenge.
I can't believe it's not butter!

I was never a woman who wanted or needed a "Sugar Daddy"... but if "Taco Daddy" was a thing, my life might have taken a drastic turn...

Tinkerbell... and her cousin Tacobell!

Canned Unicorn Meat.

What did you eat? (Outhouse melted)

You are what you eat. Fresh Idiot (Kinki fish)

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Memes/Food/Drink • [24 items]

The doctor told me to put a bar in the shower! So I did.

Bernie Sanders walks into a bar and yells, "Free drinks for everyone!".... "who is buying?"

Child: Mom, what's an alcoholic? Mom: See those two boats over there? An alcoholic would see four. Child: but mom, there's only one boat. Mom: Fuck.

You haven't had enough coffee until you can thread a sewing machine while it's running.

Drunk wives matter!

When I dunk my cookies I think of you... and I hold them under until the bubbles stop.

Does wine count as a serving of fruit?

Jack Daniel's Listerine? I'd have to retrain my muscle memory to not reflexively swallow.

When life is hard, but you're trying to eat healthy.

Me: thanks for all you do for me *leans in for a kiss*.
Liquor Store Clerk: can you just pay for the whiskey?!

What if rape rules applied the other way? Did you bring a man home a drunk man and take advantage of him?

I wonder if there's a margarita out there somewhere, thinking about me too?

Mountain Dew: the sports drink for gamers! And coders.

Ran out of coffee, substituted tequila. Everyone is so pretty today.

Let's reduce drunk driving by taking away cars from Sober drivers! (The root idea of gun-control)

Taco Bell: also open when you're sober!

Knowledge is know a tomato is a fruit

Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad
Philosophy is wondering if a Bloody Mary counts as a smoothie

Waffle House: because it's 2am and you're drunk!

Funny how it seems impossible to drink 8 cups of water a day, but 8 beers and 7 shots in 2 hours goes down like a fat kid on a seesaw.

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Memes/Food/Vegetarians • [36 items]

Probably shouldn't put these 2 ads, on the same rotating Kiosk. Is anyone else hungry?

A rare picture of a scared baby carrot, moments before being devoured by a vegan! #StopVeganCruelty

Pig being slaughtered to stop eating bacon? I still eat pussy after seeing a kid being born.

I want to grow my own food, but I can't find bacon seeds.

Cauliflower taste like someone at a dozen hardboiled eggs, waited an hour, farted into the dirt, then the far lovingly for 2 months until it grew into a fart flower, harvested it on the hottest and ripest day of the year, then boiled it for 13 hours.