Day 31

From iGeek
< Grief
GriefDay 31
Still chewing on the pile of work that going from a partnership to s aole proprietor brings.
Still chewing on the pile of work that going from a partnership to s aole proprietor brings. Firsts don't hit me as hard as most grievers, to me they're just constructs to be miserable. And there's enough misery without constructs. So plodding forward, got a ton done in the last month, and working on self.
ℹ️ Info          
Created: 2023-04-22 
Making the Grade
Still stepping forward:
  1. I've been researching on what to use for managing properties. Melissa's system was 75% in her head, with a dozen different spreadsheets, 5 banks with 3+ accounts each, each with their own credit/debit cards, taking payments through any means necessary, and just knowing who is where. Melissa rocked it through manual reconciliation, anal pedantry, and force of will. I need a system. I'd offered to help set one up, in fact asked repeatedly if we could (and share the load, just in case), but she didn't want the input, even knowing that it would make things easier. In all things, she did it her way!
  2. Ahh, another first. The first big/real solo post-Melissa Costco run (I was sherpa, not leader). Instead of grabbing one or two things, I bought a few hundred in stuff. A lot of grievers really have problems with anniversaries/dates and firsts/lasts -- all the suck and missing their beloved overwhelms them. I already did that acceptance of everything when/before she passed (and that first miserable week). So, "sigh, she would have liked that", or, "don't need to get that any more", "or it'd be nice to tag team". But I don't get despondent or cry... just a dull phantom pain ache at my missing limb (with the bubbly personality). Today is the first month anniversary of her passing (March 22) -- it doesn't suck more or less than another day since her passing. Just sucks, now on with life. Everyone grieves differently.
  3. I am writing a longer obit/summary of her life for the memorial, that's taking sandpaper to a thin scab and adding salt. But nobody else is qualified. I'll start with pages, and let others pare it down, each sentence or word a cherished memory lost to time. The time between someone's passing and their memorial (even a happy celebration of life), seems like statis; the time between the old happy life, and the new unknown. But I don't know that May 1st is really much different than April 30th. Melissa is still gone from both of them.
  4. I did a personal trainer -- just to get an idea of what I can work on. (Created a plan). Because I swim and do a body scuplt class, I have some things I'm strong at (like very quick recovery) -- pulling in, chest, etc. But other things that are really weak (quads, back, limberness). I have more free time, so might was well do more work on self. Just an early work to failure got the right amount of soreness for the next day. We also had memberships to massage and stretching that haven't been utilized, so got them to combine the accounts, and now I have a lot of credits (catching up to do). So massages twice a week for a while, doesn't suck.
  1. Quicken would work, but they don't offer the edition I need for the Mac, and don't feel like running an emulator.
  2. QuickBooks can do it, but a lot of setup and complexity (and not cheap).
  3. Just ruling others out, one at a time.


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02/18 my wife had a 2023_Heart_Attack, and passed away on 03/22/23; the hardest day of my life. Except for the ones after it.

Tags: Grief

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