Domesticating and surviving.
Created: 2023-04-12
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Archie Bunker's Place
- Domestication isn't pretty
- Picked up the Death Certificates -- not sure what all I'll need them for, but I have them. I had to do this for 3 parents in the last few years -- but all of our stuff was in trust, common property or shared passwords. Only a few things I'll have to move to my name... as well as quite a few I'll have to start taking her name off of. I talked to someone else at the funeral home, I guess I'm kind of famous for the, "Melissa Wind Chime" crack... that was a new one for them.
- Bought iron-on patches, hunted down the iron (Melissa never ironed; always my job), fixed a pair of jeans that I wore the crotch out on. Not sure, why crotch fabric gives first, especially on my best fitting jeans... I'd like to imagine it is girth/manhood, but I suspect it's more to do with fat thy's rubbing together when I walk (as it's near the seam). Either way, another couple months out of a pair of jeans before I have to go clothes shopping (shudder); my mother destroyed me on clothes shopping in a department store. Goodwill is more likely.
- Speaking of walking, I'm doing more of that again -- just around the block refreshers; a mile or two here or there. I did those infrequently anyways -- but just upping it. It let's me get my thoughts together and talk on the phone while pacing and getting some Vitamin D. People often look at me, or question me like they think I'm putting on a huge act, or about to go Kurt Cobain -- but I can both love and miss my wife desperately, AND be functional and not in denial that this the new normal. We are only in week 4... or week 10 if you start counting from the heart attack... or week 1,664 since I met her and knew this was likely going to be reality someday. But I woke up today, it's a nice day, I have a good life, I will miss her many times today, and I can carry that burden. Life goes on.
- I continue the converting property management and bill tracking from Melissa to Dave's system. The paperwork is mostly filed and in order -- a lot of figuring out accounts and finding money in odd place. "Oh, I have to transfer OUT of Venmo, so that's pooling money". We were in the process of transferring banks and credit cards, so which auto-bill pay is on which card/account, and can I get rid of them. As well as lingering points on cards, which is why they were never cancelled -- what thing do I buy with that, so I can cancel that card and reduce my fraud/credit threat surface.
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Tags: Grief
